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Take My Secretary of State, Please

03.31.2006 05:19 | DISPATCHES

Upon rumors that Condoleezza Rice was a candidate for the next National Football League commissioner, the dean of pro football writers, Dr. Z (Paul Zimmerman), wrote on

"When I read that name this morning I went into severe convulsions and the Redhead had to pack me in ice for a full half hour."
Meanwhile The Onion weighed in with "World Leaders Urge Condoleezza Rice To Take NFL Commissioner's Job":
"Although the State Department has not yet officially responded to the overwhelming outpouring of support for Secretary Rice's career change, Rice issued a short, tersely worded statement formally thanking the over 85 diplomats, heads of state, and religious leaders who spoke in her favor on the issue. [However, President Bush said] 'if anyone from this administration should get that job, it should be me.'"
However, in "Condi for NFL Commissioner" on, Gordon Prather wrote:
"Of course, that won't happen. But Condi knows she can't get the Security Council resolution she needs for Bush and his PSI [bogus Proliferation Security Initiative - editor's italics] vigilantes to misuse. Russia and/or China would veto it. . . [so with her of little use to them anymore] look for President Bush to invoke his authority as commander in chief of the War on Terror to appoint Condi NFL commissioner. And soon."
So long, Condi. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.


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